The best message board post of all time

Here's an except from an awesome thread on bmxboard in which Charlie Crumlish interprets a myspace post by Blackman....

Originally said by Blackman:
YO what the fuck b u haten to so u took me off ya top Nobody die at the banks i was about to fuck up boojew and he was like chill black because i was getTIN him back for breakin my nose but he dip and everbody else dip and then when nigga left THESE LITTLE NIGGAZ START FIGHTING THE SHIT WAS CRAZY it was me and mel rideing and some other kids from the bronx and next thing i know i see a coulpe of kids around like 13 14 fighting and shit and the police came started asking question so i dip because to the police the blackman did it and to everbody else i did it and i didnt even do nothing i was just rideing and shitin on niggaz see niggaz is scared BUT IF U DONT BELIVE ME FUCK U AND EVERBODY ELSE TO BECAUSE I RUN NEWYORK ASK RICKROSS ASK JEZZY AND ASK 50 CENT WHO BLACKMAN IS WACTH THE SCENE IS CHANGEING YA SEE SOON

Interpreted by Charlie Crumlish:
I'm largely disappointed at the prejudice and unfair portion of blame I've been receiving as of late. Nobody lost their life at the Banks, my collegue BooJew and I had a minor disagreement. Unfortunately, he left before I was able to express my unhappiness with the nasal fracture he had administered upon me some time ago. The rest of my companions had, at this point, deemed this a proper time to retire, when a number of young rascals began what I can only refer to as horseplay, in a rather violent manner. My friend Mel and I had just ridden our cycles into the Bronx for a light dinner, when the authorities appeared, and began to ask questions that did not strike me as favorable, in relation with my near to semi-distant future. The police, you see, were under the impression that I had violated some sort of law, and I considered it in my best interest to return to my home and think the evening through with a steaming cup of my good friend Earl Grey. My mentors Richard Ross and 50 Centennial can collaborate my story.